Ubundi mu busanzwe mu muco nyarwanda, umuntu ukuruta cyangwa wubashye, iyo ugiye kumuvugisha umuvuga mu bwinshi, mu rwego rwo kumwubaha. Ariko umugabo ufite ubuhehesi muri we, abifata nk’ikimenyetso cyo kumushyira kure yawe, mbese udashaka ko akwisanzuraho.

Tugenekereje “ubuhehesi” twavuga ko ari ukugira irari ryinshi riganisha ku kwifuza uwo mudahuje igitsina hagamijwe kugirana na we imibonano mpuzabitsina, cyangwa se kugambirira gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina n’ubonetse wese, ntabwo aba ari umukunzi cyangwa uwashakanye n’undi.

Akenshi umugabo iyo aje asanga umugore ashaka ko bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina, iyo asanzwe ari umuntu ukomeye (ndavuga umuntu usanzwe wubashywe) cyangwa umuyobozi runaka, uwo mugore agerageza kumufata mu isura asanzwe azwimo cyangwa mu cyubahiro cyari kimukwiriye n’ubusanzwe.

Ariko uwo mugabo ikintu cya mbere yiyambura ni icyubahiro, ku buryo n’iyo umuhaye icyubahiro ashobora kukwuka inabi nk’aho ari igitutsi. Ukaba wamubwira uti “Mwebwe” nawe ati “njyewe na nde? ” Cyangwa akaba yabifata nabi, hari n’ababwira abagore ngo barirata cyangwa bariyemera kandi ari nta kidasanzwe bakoze uretse kumwubaha gusa.

Ubundi hari bamwe bahita babibwira uwo mugore bati “ibyo kunyubaha ubishyire ku ruhande ubu ndi mugenzi wawe”. Aha akenshi aba yari umukoresha w’uwo ari gusaba ko bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina, cyangwa akaba ari umuntu wari usanzwe akomeye atanamwegera.

Ugira utya ukabona aba bamaze umwanya munini, umwe (umugore) ari kwitoza ukuntu yakwubahuka uyu mugabo waje amugana. Undi nawe (umugabo) arimo kumutoza ukuntu yamwubahuka! Iyo bigeze aha umugabo aba anamwereka ko nta kintu kidasanzwe amurusha ndetse ko nta n’ikintu gihambaye akora. Mbese akagerageza kwitesha agaciro mu buryo bwose bushoboka.

Ibi kandi ntabwo abikora wenda mu rwego rwo kwicisha bugufi, oya, ahubwo aba amwereka ko ntacyo ari cyo, mbese ko rubanda rumukabiriza. Ibi kandi na bamwe mu biyita ko bihaye Imana ni ko bigenda ku buryo wamwita mu izina ry’idini runaka mu cyubahiro agaragaza muri rubanda, ukumva akwutse inabi nk’aho ari igitutsi umututse. Ati “Ibyo se ubizanye ute hano, ni iki bidufasha? ”

Ibi kandi uyu mugabo abitangira mu minsi ya mbere atangiye kujya avugana n’uyu mugore afiteho gahunda yo kuzamusaba ko bagirana imibonano mpuzabitsina, aho aba amwereka ko mu byo bavugana hatagaragaramo icyubahiro na gike yaba kuvugana kuri telephone cyangwa kumwandikira ku mbuga zitandukanye, aba ashaka ko hatagaragaramo icyubahiro na gike.

Akenshi ibi abagabo bafata ko kumuha icyubahiro akwiye ari nk’uburyo bwo kumwigiza hirya, kugira ngo atazagira aho ahera, kandi umugore na we akareba icyubahiro uyu mugabo asanganywe akabura aho yahera akimwambura ku rwego uwo mugabo aba abyifuza.

Sinzi niba nta buryo bwaba buhari umugabo yakwisabira umugore ko bakorana imibonano mpuzabitsina ariko atitesheje agaciro, cyane ko aba asanzwe amuzi neza, cyangwa akamuha icyubahiro akwiriye bitewe n’aho bahuriye.

Ikigoranye kandi muri ibi byose, ni uko iyo uwo mugabo yitesheje agaciro ku rwego rwose rushoboka, iyo yabashije kugera ku ntego bakaba baryamana na wa mugore, aba ashaka ko bahita bamusubiza icyubahiro cye yarasanganywe cyangwa yarakwiriye!

Mbona ntacyo byaba bitwaye kujya gusaba umugore ko mwakorana imibonano mpuzabitsina (Na ko mwakundana! Niko mubyita), kandi utiyambuye icyubahiro cyawe, ukagenda uko uzwi n’uko uri. Ahubwo nibaza ko ari byo byanashimisha uwo mugore kuba yarifujwe n’umuntu ukomeye batari bari ku rwego rumwe yumvaga nta n’aho bazahurira!

Iki ni igitekerezo cy’umunyamakuru Mukazayire Immaculée Youyou