iyi complexe d’oedipe, yayihereye ku ifuhe abana bakiri bato bagaragaza ku mubyeyi bahuje igitsina n’urukundo bagirira uwo batagihuje. Abishingira ku nkuru mpimbano yabaye mu muryango umwe waba Gereki aho umwana w’umuhungu witwaga Oedipe yabwiye ababyeyi be ko azica se agashaka nyina.

Ababyeyi be ngo bahisemo kumutererana arerwa n’abandi bantu, aho umwana akuriye yaje gukunda nyina cyane ariko ataziko ariwe nyina amenye n’umugabo we ariwe se aramwica. Aho amenyeye ukuri yikuramo amaso nk’igihano cy’ibyo yakoze.

Ku bijyanye no kumenya icyo abantu batekereza ku kuba umwana yakunda cyane umubyeyi badahuye igitsinda kususha uwo bagihuje, twaganiriye n’abantu batandukanye hirya no hino mu mujyi wa Kigali, haba ababyeyi ndetse n’abana.

Mukamurigo umubyeyi w’abana babiri yagize ati “mbona impamvu abana b’abakobwa bakunda ba se cyane ari ukubera uburyo amufata. Uwanjye mbona yibonamo se cyane kuko amwumva akanamushyigikira no mu byo ntashaka, naho se abavuga ko adashaka ko umwana we agira icyo yifuza akagihabwa nufite izindi nyungu amushakaho. Ibyo mbifata nko gufuha ku mugabo ku mukobwa we”.

Yakomeje atubwira ko we impamvu akunda umuhungu we cyane ari uko amubonamo ingabo by’umwihariko imbaraga ze.

Yagize ati ”Nta kintu kintera ishema nko kubona ndikumwe n’umuhungu wanjye… naho umukobwa burya aba azajya iw’abandi.”

N’ubwo bimeze bityo, ntabwo ari igihe cyose umwana akunda umubyeyi badahuje igitsina akanabigaragaraza nk’uko twabitangarijwe na Tumwizere umubyeyi w’abana bane barimo abahungu batatu n’umukobwa umwe.

Agira ati “Njye umuhungu wanjye akunda se cyane kundusha. Afite imyaka 10 ariko n’ubu abyuka kare akaza akaba aryamye iruhande rwa se, uw’umukobwa we nawe amukunda nkibisanzwe... ubibonera mu buryo bamwishimira iyo bamubonye bakamwisanzuraho, cyane rimwe na rimwe ukabona umwana yizerera muri se cyane kukurusha.”

Akomeza agira ati “Wamubaza akakubwira ko ikibazo ari bukibirwe papa we mbega ukumirwa.”

Keza Belinda wiga muwa kane w’amashuri abanza na musaza we Emma Ngabo wiga muwa gatanu w’amashuri abanza bari kumwe n’ababyeyi babo bagize icyo bavuga.

Belinda ati “njye nkunda papa cyane kubera ko ampa ibyo nshaka naho maman aba afite impamvu nyinshi agashaka kumpitiramo”.

Emma ati “papa wanjye niwe nkunda cyane kuko iyo turi kumwe numva ntekanye kurusha maman, ikindi papa wanjye niwe mfataho ikitegererezo.”

Albert Gakwaya inzobere mu mitekerereze ya muntu (Psychologie) ndetse no mu by’imikorere n’imihindagurikire ijyanye n’ibitsina (Sexologie), yifashishije ibyabonywe n’abashakashatsi nka muganga John BOWLBY wari umuganga w’indwara zo mumutwe akaba n’impuguke mu mitekerereze n’undi witwa Donald. W. WINICOTT, ndetse n’uwitwa Mary AINSWORTH, yasobanuye ko umwana wese uvutse, uko afashwe nyuma y’ivuka rye bigenda biha umujyo uko azamera mu bihe bizaza.

Ati «Iyo umwana afashwe neza bikwiye kandi bihoraho, bimuremamo umutuzo n’umutekano w’imbere muri we byifatizo bimutera kugenda yiyungura cyangwa yiga byinshi kuko atuje, agira kwitegereza kimwe mu by’ingenzi bituma umuntu afata mu mutwe ibyo arimo.»

Avuga ko ibyo biba bizamufasha kwakira impinduka mu buzima ndetse no kwirwanaho mu buzima ari nako yiyungura byinshi mu mibanire, cyane cyane ko, wa mutuzo uturuka kugufatwa nk’ uko bikwiye, umufasha kuruhuka, gusinzira nta ngingimira bifasha ikura ry’umubiri ndetse no gushyira mu bushyinguro buba muri twe ibishya yungutse. »

Avuga ko bitewe n’uko aba acyiga byinshi, byose biba ari bishya kuri we, bityo umuha ibyo byose akaba aricwe « sura y’ifatizo y’icyitegererezo ». Ati « Akenshi baba ari banyina b’ abantu, bitaba ibyo hakaba habaho undi uhamubera.»

Albert Gakwaya akomeza avuga ko iyo ibyo bitabaye mu mezi abanza 18, cyane cyane guhera ku mezi atandatu, uwo mwana iyo umwitaho abikoze nabi akabura, biturutse ku burangare se cyangwa ku mpanvu zitandukanye, itandukana ry’abashakanye, uburwayi, urupfu se cg ibindi, wa mwana iyo atabonye undi ubimufashamo, bimuremamo akajagari cyane cyane ko wa mutuzo n’itekana riba ritakibaye agahangayika, gusinzira bikaba ingume kuko aryamana ikiniga, ugasanga n’agahinja kajagarajwe n’ibihe karimo.

Ati « ugasanga kameze nk’akagomba guca inshuro ngo kabeho ».

Albert Gakwaya agikomeza ku mikurire y’umwana, yifashishije ubushakashatsi bw’Umuganga witwaga FREUD SIGMUND, n’abo bakoranye, bagaragaje ibice bitatu by’imikurire y’umwana mu mitekerereze, n’ imyitwarire mu rukundo.

Agira ati «igice cya mbere gihera umwana akivuka kugeza ku mezi 15. Umwana umaze igihe gito avutse aba aganisha ku biribwa, kwonka, kunywesha bibero, cyangwa se kurya intoki ndetse icyo asingiriye cyose urebye nabi usanga yagitamiye, (le stade oral), mu mezi yanyuma ni naho atangira kubona amayobera amuganisha ku kumenya ko wa muntu umwitaho atari kimwe mu bice bigize umubiri».

Avuga kandi ko ku mwaka wa kabiri kugeza hafi y’itatu umwana avutse, aba yatangiye kugerageza kubasha kutituma byizanye, ndetse ukabona bimuteye ishema ndetse byanaza ukabona byamuhangayitse. ndetse niho ahera atangira kumenya ibimurimo imbere n ibimuri inyuma kuko mbere yo kwituma abanza kubyiyunvamo aka bo controller etc (le stade anal).

Ikindi gice gikurikiyeho ni icyo kuva ku myaka itatu kuzamura. Aha rero niho akana kavumbura agatsina ke. Usibye kugikinisha, batangira no kwituma batungereza ku twana tw’uduhungu, cyangwa aho bitumye bagacukura akoboIcyo gihe n’ imikino ihita itangira gutandukana.

Albert Gakwaya avuga ko igice cya kane kiva ku myaka ine kuzamura kugeza kuri itandatu. Aha ho biba bikaze kuko haba hatangiye igisa n’ihangana mu bantu batatu bagize umuryango, umwana, nyina na se.

Yifashishije inyandiko z’umuganga nawe w’umu psychanalyste witwaga KAREN HORNEY, yaragize ati «…imyitwarire igamije kugera ku kwinezeza binyuze munzira y’ ibitsina (sexualité), ntitangira mu bugimbi gusa ahubwo ihera umuntu akivuka.»

Nibwo rero nyine kuri iyo myaka ine utwo twana dutangira kwiyunvamo ikibatsi cy’ ingufu zimusunika ashakisha ikimunezeza binyuze mu rukundo (Concepts libido na Pulsion), aribwo kuri iyo myaka, abantu bambere akunda ari ababyeyi be, ariko kuri ino nshuro indoto zikabaganisha ku mubyeyi badahuje igitsina.

Aha ni naho akana k’agahungu gatangira kugira ku buryo budasobanutse urukundo kuri nyina, ku buryo kadasobanukirwa (inconsciemment) ukabona gafite imyitwarire iganisha kumufata nk’umufasha wako, ari nako katihanganira se umubyara cyangwa se undi w’igitsinagabo ugize icyo amwifuzaho. Ariko na none mu buryo bumwe cyangwa ubundi uko iminsi igenda yigira imbere agakomeza gutinya se, kuko aba yikanga ibihano bikomeye se yamuha, ndetse birimo no kumushahura, cyane cyane ko aba yarabonye ko hari abandi bana batagira igitsina nk’icye (abakobwa) akibwira ko ari ko byabagendekeye. Ibijyanye no gufuha bigatangira ubwo.

Albert Gakwaya asobanura ko FREUD SIGMUND na JACQUE LACAN bagerageje guhuriza ko iryo fuha riba rishingiye ku bwoba bwo gutwarwa uwo bafata nk’ubanezeza.

Ariko ibyo ntibitinda bigenda bigabanuka uko ababyeyi bagenda babagarura mu murongo ukwiye, babunvisha ko Maman ari umufasha wa Papa, ndetse ko Papa nawe ari umufasha wa Maman, ariko ko bose bamukunda cyane kuko ari uvutse ku rukundo rwa bombi.

Ndetse aho niho bihera umuhungu atangira gufata ise nk’ urugero rw’icyitegererezo n’umukobwa gutyo agatangira kongera kwunva nyina akanamwigiraho byinshi nk’icyitegererezo cye.

Muri iriya myaka, cya kibatsi kigenda kigabanuka cyane kigana ahandi kuko aba yatangiye kwinjiza muri we ubumenyi butandukanye, bitewe nuko ari bwo atangira ishuri, rigatangira kumusabagiza, agatangira kumenya abandi bana, hagatangira imibanire mu bantu, imikino, ariko cyane cyane ibijyanye amasomo bikamufata umwanya utari muto mu bitekerezo bye.

Albert Gakwaya asoza aka gace avuga ko guca muri biriya byiciro ari ingenzi cyane kuko byubaka, bikanatoza umwana kugenda yivumbura, agenda yongera ubumenyi anyuze mu magerageza atandukanye, akamenya za kirazira, gukoresha ubwenge ahunga icyo yikanga cyaturukaho ibihano byamugiraho ingaruka zikomeye n’ibindi.

Agira ati «Nibwo cya kibatsi gihwekera kikazongera kugaruka ku myaka hagati y’ 10 na 11 kuzamura ariko kitamwerekeza ku gukunda umubyeyi w’igitsina badahuje ahubwo abiganisha ku bandi batari abo mu muryango we, ari nako akomeza kuba mu mihangayiko y’imihindagurire y’umubiri we n’imitekerereze.

Nyuma gato mu myaka 12 kuzamura aha aba yaratangiye kwihagararaho ashaka kwerekana ko abantu bakwiriye guhindura uko bamubonaga n’ibindi. Hakazamo na none guhangana noneho n’umubyeyi bahuje igitsina.

Nyuma gahoro gahoro ni bwo aba arimo gushaka uwo yifuza kuzasa nawe mu bihe bizaza (figure d’identification) cyane cyane ahereye kubabyeyi.

Ingaruka zo kutanyura muri biriya byiciro uko bikwiye

Impuguke mu by’imitekerereze ya muntu Albert Gakwaya, avuga ko iyo umwana afashwa nabi mu mezi ye yambere y’ubuzima biriya byiciro akabinyuramo ahangayitse cyane, nta mutuzo yifitemo, nta muntu yizera, ndetse kenshi kiriya kibatsi iyo kimufashe rimwe na rimwe akaba yagendanirako, akaba yakiganisha ahamworoheye.

Agira ati «kuko nta cyizere aba yifitemo, ndetse akanirinda no gukosorwa kuko bimugora bitewe n’uko we aba yarakomeretse, aba kenshi yarakwamiye muri kwagushakisha ibyibanze agakomeza kwizirika k’umufasha, iyo hatabayeho ubufasha bumugorora akiri muto.»

Gakwaya avuga ko iyo uyu mwana akuze hari byinshi bimuvuna, nko kubana n’abandi, kwirinda guhanga by’indengakamere, gutinyuka gufata ibyemezo bisanzwe mu buzima, nko kumenyera umuhangayiko w’ubuzima; kuzanzamuka nyuma yo guhura n’amakuba; kuzanzamuka wafashwe n’agahinda k’umurengera n’ibindi.